The Social Media Dream

I suppose this post is based around real life experiences rather than general opinions from research like most of my other posts. Nonetheless, this is something I regularly discuss with people and the consensus appears to be the same as mine.

Anyone who is alive in the 21st Century will at least know the names of most social media platforms. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, WhatsApp, Tumblr... the list is endless. Personally, Instagram is where I think the problems began for me, and I'm sure people would agree with that - alongside Facebook, of course.

Growing up, we were always told about 'The American Dream' - the life people aspired to live. I read about it in books, I saw it in the movies, and I watched people work hard to achieve this 'dream' life. Today, it's more like 'The Social Media Dream', if you ask me. Photographs, status' and tweets are all perfectly constructed to epitomise the perfect life, and make people believe that you are so mind numbing-ly happy. Sounds innocent, but it's the affects of these posts that worry me, especially for the generation growing up so engrossed with social media they can't go five minutes without being on their phones. When I was younger and social media was just beginning, it was celebrities images, bodies and relationships that I was comparing myself with. But when celebrities are plastered over social media and magazines and the television, it's easy to remember the lives aren't real and images are created for a purpose to make you feel a certain way.

However, the problem for me is, although I know these images are constructed, and nobody is as happy as they make out on social media, when you are sat looking at a screen and seeing these images it makes it difficult to separate what is real and what is fake. Espeically when it's your next door neighbour Katie who you know has been brought up exactly the same as you - so why is she so much pretty, more successful, and more happy? The simple answer, she isn't! It's the social media dream, we just want people to envy our lives, even though they aren't that fantastic.

This causes to so many problems to people of all genders and ages. Young girls especially seeing images of fitness models, or personal trainers that you once knew at school, or met at a party one time, looking toned and beautiful, thinking if you don't look like that you aren't normal. Yes, you are! These women DO look amazing, and it's great to have aspirations to look as good as them, but you must remember these girls are literally being paid to look like that, just as you are being paid to do the work you do. It's unattainable to work a 10 hour day in an office, maintain a social life and look like that. Keep healthy, of course, but don't run yourself down trying to achieve a life that just is not real.  Adding to body image, filters and apps really do make you envious, don't they! How does that girl you saw yesterday suddenly have perfect skin and bigger eyes and a slimmer face? Has she crash dieted, is it surgery, has she just blossomed? Well, perhaps it's all of them and perhaps it's none of them. There are so many apps out there that can make your make-up free, acne filled face look like it's ready for a photo shoot in Vogue. A filter can change the whole look of your face, or the whole feeling of an image, so don't be fooled.

This leads nicely on to my next point. If something as small as a filter can make a dark gloomy day in your local town centre look like your on a beach in the Bahamas having the time of your life, imagine what a little bit of thought and construction can add to an image! This is something I personally found very difficult, especially when it came to relationships. I've never wanted to be that girl that posts on Instagram and Facebook about how fantastic and caring and handsome and perfect my boyfriend is, so I very rarely post about him. I made that conscious decision. And yet, I still sit looking at other couples images, cuddling on the sofa, holding hands, duvet days, exploring days, and think 'Oh, my relationship sucks, i'm not that happy!' YES I AM! Just because you don't post over social media how happy you are, does not mean you are miserable. Okay, your old school friend is currently in Venice on a gondola with Champagne kissing her boyfriend while your sat in your PJs watching the same film you've watched ten times. Has she mentioned they have spent the entire week arguing over money, and how the smell in Venice is so unbearable he's been miserable the whole time wanting to go home? No, of course not. Meanwhile, you're so content watching that film in your onesie while he makes you a cuppa tea. Its the simple things (for me, anyway) Yes, a picture speaks a thousand words, but you should always listen to what isn't being said, that's just as important. All about keeping up appearances. There are so many 'expectation vs. reality' pictures floating around that sum it up - NOBODY LOOKS LIKE THAT GETTING OUT THE POOL, so stop comparing yourself.

Something to remember as well, just because they're posting about it doesn't mean it's happening. I know, it's quite difficult to believe that people would literally stage a photo just for likes, or check-in somewhere on facebook they weren't really at just to look cool but they really do. Take something simple for example, my friend checked into the gym the other morning about 10am. I was sat thinking "doesn't he have a job to go to?" alongside the thought I should really be at the gym. Then other people were picking up on the fact he's not actually signed up to that particular gym, so it was strange. Then, about an hour he simply replied to us all "or i'm just sat at my desk at work and because it's next door to the gym it let me check in looool". So, just because your whole group of friends have 'checked in' at the pub and you had to work late, the likelihood is if they've had the time to 'check in' they're probably not having a very good time if they're just sat on their phones!

And similarly, away from constructed images but about real life: just because Sally from work is posting her pictures from her idyllic holiday in Italy while you're stuck at work doesn't mean your life sucks. Sally has worked bloody hard all year to afford that holiday and the other 50 weeks she is sat in your exact position getting jealous of other peoples pictures. It's the circle of life (or social media!) so enjoy every moment you have!

I really could go on forever ranting about it, but please, girls and boys, be happy with the life you live! Don't get caught up on social media and the lives of your peers that seem so much better. They're not, and life is too short to be comparing yourself to every Tom, Dick or Harry you see on social media. :)